the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
