I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
