Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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