why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize