Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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