Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
