I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
