Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
True strength comes from lack of pants
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
