And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
