Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Randomize
