why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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