So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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