R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
