Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize