Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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