do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
