i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
