he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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