i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Randomize
