Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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