I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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