is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
