he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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