the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize