that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
