some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
