did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
