everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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