Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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