I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
