Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
