i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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