BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
