Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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