You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
