Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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