oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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