dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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