He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
