if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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