Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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