hell yes lets make some ravioli
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
