I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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