My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Blood and glitter go together right?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
