I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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