Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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