Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
