yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize