Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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