After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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