I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
