Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
