you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm like, not good at living.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
