Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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