Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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