Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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