why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I think my nap took me to another dimension
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
