My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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