he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
