my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
it's like iHOP with fire
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
