What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
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