I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
