Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Couch. On fire.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
