are you so shy because you have an std?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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