no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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