So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
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