I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
So many bounce houses so little time
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I fill condoms, not promises.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
