im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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