Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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