How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
