in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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